The Ettiquette of Modern Communication
Derek Powazek recently posted this interesting piece on the ettiquette of modern communication and since I spend a fair amount of time thinking about the way people communicate (and designing for a population whose preferences are vastly different from my own), I thought I’d post mine here (for historical purposes :-)
Phone
For important things and catching up with friends, I still like the phone. I don’t always answer it right away (in fact I rarely do) so I don’t feel it’s an intrusion the way Derek does. In fact I usually have my ringer turned down pretty low and my messages are forwarded to an app on my computer. I can listen to them in any order I want and return calls that are urgent right away.
Email
In spite of all the issues with spam, I’m still a big fan of email and use it for the bulk of my communication needs. It gives me an easily searchable archive and I can respond at my own speed. I like! Unfortunately it’s going the way of the dodo bird, at least among teenagers and the kids I design for. Some of them give me gibberish like “www.myspace.com/lilspydaHOTTIE@aol.com” when I ask for an email address. They literally don’t know what I’m talking about. Sigh.
IM
Here’s where I’m a weirdo (compared to my techie friends). I don’t like IM. I really don’t! I spend a lot of time pushing pixels and drawing on the surface of my computer (a tablet PC)…so sending me an IM message is sort of like coming over to my desk, sticking a hand over my drawing, and smearing the ink a little to get my attention. when a couple people do it at the same time, its jarring. I’m trying to change the way I feel about IM, but it’s hard. I also get nervous when I can’t see or hear a person while I’m talking (because I rely a lot on non-verbal cues)…so I often end up doing socially retarded things like closing an IM window in the middle of a conversation when I get stressed out. I’ve done that a gajillion times to people who think I’m totally rude, when really, I was just nervous. (That said, I don’t mind IM if I know the person I’m “chatting” with really really well or if someone needs to ask me an urgent question.)
SMS / Text Messages
I generally use SMS when I’m away from my computer for quick messages that don’t merit a phone call (i.e. to let people know if i’m gonna be late). Oh and to google things and look up directions…and for this twttr thingy.
Filed under: all talk · 7 Comments
Seriously? The younguns don’t use email anymore? Jeez it makes you feel old when a technology that blossomed while you were in college is already archaic.
IM is my favorite way to communicate 1-to-1 online. I love how quick, unintrusive, and temporal it is. Since a good chunk of my social life is planned about 5 minutes before I actaully do something, I love being able to get a quick response from my friends.
I love iChat status messages.. little twttr-like miniblogs so i can see what my friends are up to at all times, all in one place. I like how fast iChat status is to change. Unlike skype mood messages or twttr, i can choose from a list of past messages.
I like email for one-to-many communication. I’m on a million mailing lists, and use them to make long-range (>5min) social plans. I like being able to invite fifty people over for an impromptu BBQ with one email, but I usually also IM a few people to get an idea of how many people will be free in an hour.
The phone? I’ve got one around here somewhere… and once I find it I’m going to call the banks crew, who are too old-skool for IM, and see if they want to go for coffee..
nope, the younguns don’t use email…but they ALL have MySpace accounts, so almost all of them enter a MySpace URL instead of an email address on our sign up form (and we allow them to do that if they want).
They also tend to use IM for their primary communications (which is why I’m trying to get used to it). My friends think it’s funny that I get so anxious about IM since I’m actually not a shy person IRL. I think it’s because I’m just not quick with words or I tend to be super cautious when I’m writing (and less so when I’m talking).
Yep, I’m pretty old-skool!
I’m back from coffee with dodger. The phone served me well!
While walking back from coffee, I realized that my goals when communicating with friends online is very different than when communicating with co-workers. I want my personal IMs/emails/whatever to eventually lead to face-to-face time with my friends, so that we might enjoy a tasty beverage and some conversation together, and occasionally some sushi. Not so with co-workers, where communicating information in the shortest time possible is what’s important. Maybe co-workers should buy each other b33r more often.
May, what IM client do you use? I’m curious how would someone know that you closed the IM window? I close IM windows mid-conversation all the time. A new one just pops up the next time they send a message, and they never know I closed the window. Sometimes I have to log out of my personal-IM when I’m working and feeling easily distracted.
I’d like to hear more about your Tablet PC setup for artwork.. you don’t use a wacom? Everyone should be required to make a blog post about their workstation setup, so I can take notes :)
me too, I’d rather see my friends face-to-face! For IM, I use Trillian. I think it’s an okay client, though iChat is def. prettier!
When I say I close the IM window mid-conversation, I mean I often do it and put out the BRB sign without warning, esp. if someone says something clever. You know how some people freeze up in real life conversations? well, I have that problem with IM. That’s why if I like someone, I won’t give them my IM handle right away, lest they think I’m just mean! I don’t do this IRL, so I don’t know why I do it with IM :-(
I use a convertible tabletPC which I LOVE LOVE LOVE. It’s the best thing ever!! I generally flip the screen over the keyboard and use alias sketchbook pro for drawing…and when I need to code or type, I flip the screen again and it becomes a regular laptop (it has a swivel hinge sorta like the sidekick). I also use a wacom tablet when I have it in laptop mode but I rarely use the wacom for drawing.
In any case whenever I’m working, I usually have whatever app I’m in fully expanded to take up my entire screen. So when an IM window pops up, it always pops up on top of my drawing or layout and my hand ends up slipping a little. But that may not really be the main issue since I’ve also tried logging into IM on an entirely different machine than the one I’m doing work on and when the little window pops up it still stresses me out!
I’m just weird!
so i thought about it some more and i think the reason I get stressed out by IM is because I tend to rely A LOT on subconscious gestures or facial expressions or intonation to communicate quickly. and when I can’t do those things I literally feel tongue-tied (or finger tied!) cause I don’t actually know what the words are for what I’m thinking. (emoticons don’t help cause they require a conscious decision on my part).
women are supposed to be more verbal than men, but i’ve always had a hard time connecting words with thoughts or concepts quickly. and I was an english major in college! i dunno how that happened. i guess that’s why i’m a designer now and not a writer.
anyways, it’s kind of silly for me to be anxious about it, so you guys can IM me on AIM :-) (my handle is my email address minus my name and the .com) I promise I’ll try not to close the window on you unexpectedly (but if I do, you probably said something clever that caused me undue stress.)